Saturday, May 10, 2014


Everyday I wake up and think of my sister.  I think of the memorable times we had together, the smiles we shared, the laughter we always had and then the sadness overwhelms me that she's not here.  It's so impossible to think that she's NOT here. I dreamed of Tanya last week that was so vivid.  I can't tell you what it was about because it was one of those dreams when you wake up in the middle of the night with tears and try so hard to remember every detail, then go back to sleep.  I woke up and didn't remember anything aside from it was so real.  I remember it was full of smiles and laughter.  Her laugh was so would laugh just because she was laughing.  I miss that. 

After I lay there in the morning feeling sad because she's no longer physically with me, I then thank God for the blessings in my life and that fact that she's not longer in pain or suffering.  I know she's with us in many ways, when we don't think she is.  She's my strength and sometimes the only way I can get through the day.  I try to keep myself busy.  Busier than one should.  I've tried consuming my life with church (not a bad thing), MOPS, crafts (miss crafting with her), yard work, fundraisers and really anything that will help the time pass.  With all the projects on my plate, the most i'm excited for is the Hope for Tanya 5k Fun Run!  I've put so much time and effort into this for Tanya and all the other women fighting for their lives.  I've managed to get a website started (still very far from finished), sponsorship packages, t-shirt, donation forms & today finished the registration form!  When this event is finished I will be so relieved and proud of myself for actually doing it!  I never finish anything in my life and I just realized that! Oops. 

This event means the world to me because all I've ever wanted in life was to be able to HELP people.  That's reason alone is why I loved my job in the medical field.  Just to put yourself in someone else's shoes for 1 minute and try to think how they are getting by each day with a sick child, parent, sister, brother, family member or themselves are sick; and how I could make it better even in the smallest way.  How did my sister stay so positive and optimistic through her entire battle and I can't seem to make it one day without complaining about something. It's the strength we find from deep within that tells us we CAN do it and we will come out ahead.  It's God.  So with all that said...i'm am pleased to say that with hard work we have secured so far 10 Sponsors for the Fun Run in September and of course are still looking for more!  We have fun little things planned for this event and even a blood drive!  You know, it's VERY important to give blood at least 3 times a year!  For most cancer patients blood is something they are given quite frequently and hospitals rely on blood donations to do so.  Don't hesitate...please donate!  Things for the Fun Run are still in progress and most likely will be until i get to Arizona, but we have the shirts finalized, 3 banners and are working on the flyers and all the other media stuff! Wahoo!!!  I am in need of volunteers to help get donations...we are in need of donations/gift cards in $25 values or more! Let me know if you want to help or know someone who does!  

Email me @

We are only 4mo away from this event...soooo exciting!

Thanks everyone!!! 

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