Florida Bound = Utopia Wellness Center

Of course I wanted to go sooooooooo bad, but lets face it...my monsters in a Wellness Center setting?  Probably not the best idea...so I headed up to Show Low to hang out with Katrina and get stuff rolling for the Fall Fling she & a few friends were putting on!  The Fall Fling went well and we brought in $5000 for Tanya!  That's huge and we thank EVERYONE that helped us pull this off.  Backing up, Tanya was packing (for an army) for Florida and as you can imagine was so scared, nervous, excited and ready to get better!  So off they went...Florida bound.  Sunday, October 13th Tanya, Mom & Scott were on their way, she texted me as they land saying "it's beautiful here!!!" and although her flight wasn't fun and she got sick a few times and was so incredibly tired, I'm glad she was able to take it all in!  Her treatments started on Monday and meeting/information galore flooded in.  Overwhelming?  YES!  But in true Tanya fashion she took it all in like a champ.  She was starting to learn how to control her vomiting, since her body for so long had gotten use to doing it, she had to retrain.  Her bleeding had almost stopped but she was still nauseated and tired all the time...but was getting better!  She couldn't wait to have more energy and really wanted to get out and explore the city & most certainly was ready to come home a week later!  Haha...she still had 11 weeks at least to go.  BUMMER.

As Tanya was getting well, we all back in Arizona wrapped up the weekend of the Fall Fling & I was packing to head back to Washington that was on Monday, October 21st.  Dustin, the babies and I drove straight through (we are champs at this 25hr drive at this point) and  made it home just in time to get Breckin to his first ever field trip!  That was exhausting for sure!  We began getting back into a routine, unpacking from moving in August and just getting back into the swing of things...until Friday October 25th when my Mom told me Tanya had skipped her appointments at Utopia because she wasn't feeling well.  

She had spent the day in bed until she couldn't take it anymore.  She couldn't breathe and although I can only relate it to falling off a swing in mid air and losing your breath, I'm sure it was much worse.  Much more worse than we could have ever imagined.  Worse enough for Tanya to not be able to walk from the bed to the table.  Worse enough to tell my Mom she was scared to death and that she needed to go to the hospital.  Worse enough to actually for ONCE complain.  Worse enough for the ambulance to come.  Poor thing.  All I could do was cry.  Cry because I didn't want her in pain, because I didn't want to hear this news, because of the unknown.  Because she didn't deserve this and most importantly because I wasn't there and didn't want to lose her.  I know, not a good time to think about myself here but she's my sister.  My best friend and I WASN'T there for her.  The worst feeling ever.  I knew my Mom had complete control of her and could manage just fine but it still hurts when you are miles and miles away and feel helpless.

The last text messages I have from Tanya was on Thursday; we were talking about my crazy kids and how fast they were growing.  How much they missed and loved Tata & how much she missed and loved them!  Tanya was admitted to Mease Countryside Hospital in Safety Harbor, Florida on Friday afternoon through the ER and was quickly admitted.  The ER physicians did a CT scan and became concerned with the findings; started blood work and soon informed her that her liver was shutting down & that she was more sick that she (anyone) realized.  She soon received a bed on the Critical Care Unit and was assigned Dr. Robert Stein & RN, Dawn.  Dr. Stein was an Intensivist & Pulmonologist and began quickly working on Tanya and had taken a special interest in her as his son was her same age.  Tanya honestly could not have received better care than she did at this hospital.  EVERYONE was beyond amazing.

Saturday, morning the breathing difficulties continued and had gotten worse, Dr. Stein told Tanya she could go on a ventillator to help her breathe.  He gave her all the information, risks, benefits, etc and told her he would be back in 1 hour to talk to her.  Dr. Stein was called back to Tanya's room not 20 minutes later and she asked him "how soon can you do this?"  He replied with "as soon as you want it".  Tanya had the intubation done, her choice, and was heavily sedated to keep her from naturally wanting to pull it out.  

I can't imagine how difficult this was for my Mom who had to sit there and see her baby in pain, suffering and not being able to breathe.  As a mother you want to fix everything and she couldn't.  She couldn't take the pain away, but she was there and that alone I know meant more to Tanya than my Mom will ever realize.  Dr. Stein told Tanya that once the tube was placed, she would not leave the hospital without it; she understood and I wholeheartedly believe she was just giving all of us time to get to her.  She wanted to go home; she didn't want to be there.  Of course she didn't want to be there, especially when you don't feel good...all you want is your own bed, your own house...HOME.  

Try & Stay With Me Here...

Hello everyone, this is Ashley and I'm here to update you all on the happenings since Tanya posted in August.  Tanya continued the clinical trial in Scottsdale for 2 rounds until she ended up back in the hospital on Friday, September 13th at Banner Gateway Medical Center.  She was having pain, blood pressure and heart rate through the roof, unstable potassium levels which were fine one day and severely low the next and was impacted.  Despite not wanting it, Tanya had to receive an enema to help since the tumor in the pelvic region was putting pressure on the colon, thus backing everything up; poor girl.

I can't even think for one moment how she must have felt, so helpless, lost, angry and frustrated for the lack of compassion, skill and knowledge some of the nursing staff had.  After the enema she started feeling much better and spirits were up a lot.  The impaction on film was about 3-4ft up from the tumor, so you can imagine how uncomfortable she must have been, but always had a smile on her face and a positive text to me!  Of course we were back in Washington and SO far away, which kills me!   We continued to text back and forth over the days and night and on Sunday the 15th Tanya had a CT scan of the abdomen & pelvis to determine how the clinical trial drug was working, an EKG to make sure her heart was okay and was on O2.  They was mounds of blood tests and speculation that she had a virus called VRE.  She had cords everywhere and monitors for everything which frustrates her even more, she hates those damn cords!  With the anticipation building for the results on the CT scan Tanya's night went less than relaxing.  The RN was in there till well after midnight, then they come in ever few hours for this and that so she was really tired come Monday.  In a text from Tanya, she was suppose to see her Oncologist, Dr. Schlumbrecht in the early afternoon and would be released to go home either that night or Tuesday.  This was so odd to me.  Why are they sending you home? Are you keeping food down?  How is your potassium?  She responded that she had no idea why they were sending her home, it was just what his PA said.  This clearly worried me...worried me to the point where it made me sick to my stomach.  Being in the medical field for the last 11 years and working with surgeons, oncologist, hospitalists and patients (cancer) day in and day out, I had a bad feeling that something wasn't right. Doctors don't just "send you home" for no reason.  Was the cancer gone?  Was the cancer spreading?  What was the treatment doing?  I wanted questions and I wanted questions NOW.  I hate the waiting game our providers like to play.  I know they are busy, believe me, I know first hand how a medical practice works.

Anyhow, her blood pressure was still bouncing around but was 129/90 when we talked & her heart rate was normal again.  She was eating again, which was something that hadn't been happening or at least staying down, for a while; so that was good.  Since I was feeling quite helpless and 1500+ miles away I had to call in my resources and who was best at that then Tanya's friends Abi & Krystal!  Abi went on Sunday and Krystal showed up Monday afternoon.  She even brought the requested Sour Cream & Onion chips she had been craving!  Thanks again, Krystal for doing that for me...it means so much to me that you and Evan were there with her!

So as my house was a disaster from trying to unpack and get some normalcy to our new lives in Washington, I put a movie on for the munchkins, Christmas of course and anxiously awaited any news from Tanya.  At 3:43pm I got a text from Tanya that said: "How are you?".  "I'm fine, why?" I replied.  She says:  "I got the CT results"...."and?"..."Not good news.  Want me to call or text you?".  "Call".  That was the moment my heart and stomach sank.  I started shaking uncontrollably.  I was about to hear the news from my sister, who was fighting the biggest fight of her life.  News that I had become so use to hearing sadly, every day.  News that nobody wants to hear, that nobody wants to tell, that nobody wants to think about.  I had somehow made it upstairs away from the kids in a quiet area.  It was rainy outside (surprise surprise) and as my phone rang with Tanya on the other line I just slumped down on the floor.  I said "What did he say?" Tanya:  My cancer has spread, it's everywhere.  I have over a dozen spots on my liver, spots on my lungs that have shrunk and some that have grown.  The clinical trial drug isn't working and i'm getting sicker because of it.  My body is so toxic that there isn't anything they can do for me anymore except keep me comfortable."  Me:  "What, no chemo, no nothing?" Tanya:  "Nope." "So what now?"  They want to put me on hospice and send me home.".  Me:  "They can't.  I'm so sorry, I hate that i'm not there with you RIGHT now".  Obviously by this time we were both balling our eyes out on the phone.  I hated that I wasn't there for her.  There to give her a hug and just take her in.  To be there as a punching bag if she needed it.  A shoulder to cry on...anything.  I hated it all.  We continued to cry and try to come up with options.  I asked what next?  She said...well they aren't the only ones that treat cancer, so if they won't help me I will find someone that will.  I told her that I loved her so much and I would call her back in a little bit so she had time to make other calls, scream or whatever she needed.

I hung up with Tanya and immediately called Dustin, who was at work and busy as ever.  I was crying on the phone and gave him the news and was told to pack our stuff and get ready to leave for Arizona.  In the midst of all the sadness, stress and packing I remembered that earlier that day I pulled out a memory from the jar Tanya made me as a going away present and it said "Always being there for me".  I text her a picture and we both started crying all over again.  Her strength is amazing.  She told me "i refuse to let this be it" and an hour later we left Washington and drove all night and day to be with her.  I cried the whole trip, constantly texting her and making sure she was okay.  She said she was "holding up pretty okay.  Angry and a little lost feeling".  I know there wasn't anything I could do or say to make the bad news and results go away, I just knew I needed to be there.

We arrive in Gilbert on Tuesday at 7pm after stopping and getting Tanya a Green Tea from Subway, her request.  The kids and us were beyond ready to get out of the car and see Tanya and Grandma!  I had never been so happy to see this hospital in my life.  When we walked into #1531 I was so beyond happy to see her.  I had to hold it together...and I did.  I think.  Gosh I don't even remember...that drive was intense.  We visited for a while before we forced our way out the door, not wanting to leave her side.  The excitement on the kids & Tanya's face was worth the trip and I would do it every day if I could! I was lucky enough to spend the day on Thursday with Tanya as she stayed in the hospital a few more days and had to receive 2 units of blood and 1 unit of platelets.  I went back Friday morning and spent the day with her too; took her a Vanilla Bean Frapp from Starbucks.  We, well I, did some work on her 401k, fundraising, and lots of eating while she slept...soaked in as much time sleeping as she could.  Which I'm sure wasn't much.  It was right where I needed to be.  No kids, no noise, just being there for her...like always.  We ate lunch together, okay well I ate  my lunch and she ate 1/2 of hers....I probably could have ate hers to.  I guess you know what I do when i'm stressed!  Later that day we met with Dr. Singh who is the hospitals naturopath and went over all the crap she was taking and eliminated what she felt wasn't necessary.  Tanya went home on Friday, September 20th...FINALLY!

I was lucky enough to get in tough with "The Oil RN", Sarah...if you don't know her start following her on Facebook or Instagram (she's amazing) and together we set up times for Tanya to get the AromaTouch therapy done with doTERRA essential oils.  If you don't know about doTERRA...go check them out on Tanya's website found here:  http://mydoterra.com/hopefortanya!  All proceeds go to Hope for Tanya Foundation!  Anyhow, Tanya was receiving this AromaTouch by Sarah until I got certified...let me tell you it's soooooooo nice and relaxing.  Tanya said it was the most relaxed & best sleep she had got in a long time!  So she was getting these done along with a host of oils added daily and she was feeling better & she started seeing Brent Timco in Gilbert who is an accupuncturist and he helped he immensely with her nausea and vomiting during our search for a Wellness Center, which we found in Tampa, Florida!  All arrangements were being made for Florida as Tanya had the energy.  Hotel room booked, flights booked, Utopia Wellness Center booked....everything taken care of and ready to go...

1st Annual Fall Fling

Join us for the 1st annual Fall Fling at Flag Hollow Ranch!  

Do a little shopping at the silent auction and the many vendor booths.  Christmas is right around the corner, why not do your shopping while supporting a great cause.  Try your change at winning a raffle.  Eat some good food and play a game or two.  Ring in fall with a hay ride.  There is no better way to spend a day with family.  ALL proceeds go directly to Tanya.  We can't wait to see you there!!!

TWISTS AND TURNS OF TREATMENT...

oh you lucky, lucky Hope for Tanya supporters you...

two BLOGS in a week...WWWWHHAAATTT...

 

This morning I woke up feeling SO tired, weak and just overall exhausted.  I haven't had a day yet that I wasn't able to walk from the car to my appointment.  That day came today.  It took EVERYTHING I had to get out of bed, even more to get from the house to the car, and THAT MUCH more to get from the car to the appointment.  I had to use a wheelchair.  My legs are just so

weak, they feel like they will give out at any second. 

 

We found out today this is due to me being severely dehydrated.  Today I was to get labs and an exam by the clinical trial nurses.  When I pulled up in my beautiful maroon Cadillac Scottsdale Healthcare wheelchair they said "get her back and get her on fluids and draw blood now" I looked like a terrible slumped over Tata.  I crawled into bed FREEZING my buns off and they got hot blankets (oh I love those) blood and hooked me to fluid.  I soon was passed out. 

 

A short time later I heard some talking but just didn't bother to move or wake up...I knew mom was there and could handle anything.  I have been blessed with the most amazing mother in the world.  I can't imagine being my care taker.  I sleep all day every day, I hardly eat, I have been vomiting  too much, complaining of gas cramps, that I am hungry but I can't keep it down, sleepy but I can't sleep, hot but I am cold, so thirsty but it comes back up, energy but no energy.  She just helps in any and every way she can, she is nothing short of AMAZING.  She has been outside in the heat (100+ degrees) doing the yard work, cleaning house you name it.  I thank her every day for doing everything for me, but honestly "Thank you" is just so small in the grand scheme of it all.  I can't "thank" her enough and will find a way for the rest of my life to repay her.  THANK YOU MOM, you are the MOST AMAZING WOMAN I have ever met I hope to be half the mom you are one day.

 

When I woke up mom said "I know your awake over there, I hope I got all that right" Haha she knows me so well.  She did great, got it all right.  Filled me in on what they talked about and what IV's I was hooked up to.  Today they hooked me up to a 4 hour infusion of potassium and saline, dexamethasone which is a steroid.  My potassium was extremely low, all my electrolytes were totally out of whack, stomach acid was really high, and extremely dehydrated.  So I was in BAD shape.  After the 4 hour potassium infusion, the dexamethasone that was to help with nausea and to calm my stomach and will help make me hungry so I can eat, boy did it! I was naming off everything I could think of to eat! Haha she also gave me IV Zantac to help ease my stomach acid, which is what might be causing me to not keep anything down.  I have nothing in my stomach, yet I am puking non stop, my stomach acid it on the fritz.   After I woke up a few hours later, I had to pee, I was able to walk to the bathroom alone and not feel like my legs were going to give out under me.  I still needed to use the Cadillac to the car but I felt better.  I even had high hopes of going grocery shopping with mom.  Using the Cadillac of course!! We got home and had to get a few things taken care of when I just didn't have it in me.  Maybe tomorrow! :)

I am feeling so much better than when I woke up this morning thank you to the medical staff at Virginia G. Piper Cancer Center for nursing me back to health.  Your all awesome!!! :)

 

For those of you that have been a little confused about where I am going for this clinical trial and all that we got clarification today... Haha I see Virginia G. Piper Cancer Center in Scottsdale, they are partners with TGen.  TGen is the one that has MY ACTUAL tumor and are testing it and doing research on it.  In about 3 months OR when the testing is done.  Once the testing is done, we will have a meeting with the folks at TGen, they will tell us everything they found with the research on my tumor.  I can't wait for this appointment.  The testing and research they are doing is RARE, because it's so expensive.  We are talking $40,000 or more.  The testing is very close to the human genome, they will take my tumor and test it, find out why it has mutated, how it's mutating, and what drugs to use to kill the cancer. 

Currently my treatment is Friday and off for two weeks and then treatment again Friday.  I know a lot of you have been wanting to know when will we know the drug is working?  Well I will have a Scan on October 10th and that will tell us what the drug is doing.  My last dose will be on October 25th.  Sometime around then I will meet with the folks at TGen and they will give us more information. 

 

I know some of my SCCC/LCCC sisters have asked me about the trial and where to get more information.  If you or anyone you know is interested in a clinical trial, not just for SCCC/LCCC, but for any and all type of advanced staged aggressive cancer call::

 

Joyce Schaffer, MSN RN AOCNS

Patient Care Coordinator

Virginia G. Piper Cancer Center                 Clinical Trials

 Scottsdale Healthcare                       10510 N. 92nd St., STE 200

PROUDLY partners with TGen            Scottsdale, Arizona 85258

 

480.323.1339 phone

480.882.5820 fax

joschaffer@shc.org email

 

Thanks,

Tanya



Good Morning, Good Afternoon and Good Night

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and Good Night! :)

It's been while since I have been on here to update you all. 

I am sorry about that, but I hope you all can understand

WHY I haven't blogged in so long. 

Please understand that, for most it's a simple task as just typing up a message and posting it.

For me it take a lot more.  I get tired really easy, for one and for two most days I hadn't been feeling

very well so typing a blog was the LAST thing on my mind. 

Like I had mentioned in my previous post I have been very sick.  I couldn't keep anything down,

and I was very weak.  Well this has continued for a few more weeks. I was in and out of the clinical

trial getting fluids every other day it seemed. 

Well last Friday I was suppose to get a dose of chemo 

**I WANTED TO POST THIS FOR TANYA BECAUSE SHE NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO FINISH IT...**

CLINICAL TRIAL...

HELLO :)

I am sorry it's been so long since I have updated.  I am so sorry you all have been kept at arms length not knowing what's going on, or how I am doing or anything for that matter.

 

The past good month has been a trying one for me.  I got really sick, vomiting and not able to keep anything down for a good three weeks.  No matter what, I drank, ate, didn't drink, didn't eat, no matter what  it came up.  Three straight weeks of this.  Nobody could tell me why. It was exhausting.

 

PAIN...oh the pain. I had the worst pelvic pain.  (due to the tumors) I was on pain pills for the pain, which helped the pain, but constipated me, and on top of that I couldn't function.  Every time I would take them they would knock me out.  So I was sleeping mostly all the time.  Sitting down became impossible.  It was so painful to sit on my bottom, no matter what surface.

 

 

CLINICAL TRIAL!!!!

I went in to see T-Gen for a clinical trial consultation.  The day of the appointment they told me they didn't have any studies open for me, but would keep an eye out and would let me know if anything came up.  The day later I got a call saying a trial opened up and I would be a match.  They needed me to come in ASAP for further consultation.  I went in with Scott, Mom and Grandma.  When they told me about a trial that I am eligible for.  Filled me in and all the details and I signed all the paperwork. They told me the first week of the trial was going to be hard.  They do MRI's, blood work, and biopsies.  It's a full week of this each day more MRI's, blood work and a biopsy.  I had a liver biopsy and adrenal biopsy.  The results to these tests are for trial purposes only.  They aren't looking for growth or spread disease or whatever.  These results are just for what the trial is looking for only. 

The trial drug is injected once every two weeks.  The first week I will be really worn down and tired, the week after I should have more energy.  The trial drug has been used in phase 3 studies and they have had much success!  So I am on a phase 3 drug in a phase 1 study.  They have high hopes this will work and so do I!

 

A few weeks ago I got a call from the trial and they told me T-Gen has opened up a study for Small Cell Ovarian Cancer.  They looked at my history and they are very interested in my tumor.  So when they did the biopsies they took extra tissue samples for them.  The best news is that if this trial drug doesn't work, we will have this as a back up plan.  They will do all sorts of tests and research on MY tumor tissue, to know how it grows, why it grows....EVERYTHING!  The testing will take about three months and so will trial drug I am on. 

 

I'm still getting sick at least once a day, I have a nausea patch but doesn't seem to work 100%.  I have a hard time getting food down, but I still try.  Some days are easier than others.

 

 

That's about it for now,

Thanks for reading!!!

 

 

Tanya

FREEDOM WAFFLES...

HELLO!

I wanted to just post a quick post about the FREEDOM WAFFLE BREAKFAST we had put on July 4th. 

A BIG thanks goes out to all of you that helped make this possible!!

A special thanks to my big sister Ashley, and Carlie who came up with the idea and set the plan in motion! Also my big Brother Bannon for paying to get things rolling!! :)

I am so thankful for all the supporters I have. Without you fundraising wouldn't be possible, and neither would this fight. 

Thank you!! 

GROSS



Hello!!!

So I finally found some time to update.  :)

 

Where to begin...

I recently had yet another hospital stay. I went into the ER a few weeks back due to a fever and rapid heart rate. I had been experiencing some unexplainable chest pain.  I went in on a Friday and they assured me I was fine, and sent me home.  Saturday came around and I was back at the ER. Same symptoms this time with a fever.

After doing more tests and talking it over with my Oncologist they decided to admit me.

Oh great here we go again another hospital stay.  I can't tell you how much I dislike the

hospital!

I was at Gateway for 4-5 days.  They put me on antibiotics to treat me for the possible infection I might of had.  I was still experiencing chest pains.  They had me hooked up to ever possible machine they could think of.  After a few days into my stay they were getting ready to discharge me! YAY!!

When I got sick.  I was laying in bed and Grammy was there, I looked all around for a bed pan and couldn't find one...

I paged the nurse, she didn't come it seemed like a long time, when finally I asked Grammy to get the nurse, I was going to be sick.  About the time they got me a bed pan, was about the time I got sick!

To my surprise this is what came up...

GROSS!!!!

 

I looked up and said to the nurse "what is this?" When she and the CNA took a look and said "um...."

The nurse paged for a GI consult to come in ASAP.  A few short minutes later mom came in and was grossed out with the rest of us! Ha ha the GI physician came in and said she didn't know what it was, she hadn't seen anything like that before, but it appeared to be the "lining of something" is what she told me she thought it was.  GREAT!

So much for being discharged.  I was kept in a few more days.  To which they would run even more tests on me.  I had a swallow study done.  They found that food, pills etc. get stuck for about 10 seconds or longer in my throat before it's pushed down.  I am to watch what I eat and drink lots of fluid when I do eat.  They did an EGD as well and it only showed that my stomach was inflamed.  I was put on some antibiotics to help with the throat and stomach.  They decided this was the reason for throwing up that weird lining. 

I was finally discharged! I went home and went straight to bed.  Slept for a good 4 hours or so.

Over the next few days I got better and better...I had Chemo on the 28th, it was a Friday. 

I felt like junk, and I am just now starting to feel more like normal. 

 

Chemo this time around has kicked my ass.  The last time I did chemo I was nauseous, and felt crappy for a few days and then was normal for 2 weeks.  Not so lucky this time around. I feel OK the day after chemo, then it all sets in and I feel crappy, it makes me feel very run down and tired, weak.  My gag reflexes are heightened, so I gag over just about anything...which then makes me vomit.  I will be feeling great, then all of a sudden I am in the bathroom with my face in the toilet.  It just hits me all of a sudden.  It's weird and it sucks.

 

We left for Show Low on Wednesday July 3rd, for the Holiday weekend...I have to say I have enjoyed this trip so much.  Ashley and I weren't ready to head home when Sunday rolled around.  So we decided to stay longer.

We are still here! We are planning on being here all week.  Its beautiful up here, and the rain storms everyday are making it that much harder to leave. 

I think I just might become a snowbird! :)  You think I can get Scott to go for it?  I will stay on the mountain for the summer and phoenix for winter!

I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed being around all my family this past few weeks.  I just may never leave! :) I think they will all be OK with that! Ha ha

So for now, I am just enjoying this weather, loving the family time and just relaxing. 

 

I have some decisions to make regarding a clinical trail in Ohio.  I will have to be off chemo for at least 28 days before being excepted into the trial.  I would then fly to Ohio and spend a month there.  I just have to make some decisions as to if I am going or not.  I got some information on the trial from the physician running the trial, that makes me double guess on going.  I will keep you all posted if I go or not.  I will have a CT Scan here in the next few weeks to see if the chemo is working or not.  Please say your prayers it is! :)

 

I love you,

Tanya

PAIN OH MY....

Hello! It's time for an update!
A lot has happened since I posted last... 

I saw my Dr. Schlumbrecht on Monday (06.03.13) that appointment in itself was RIDICULOUS, I get to the check in desk the girl tells me "I don't show you on the schedule, let me contact the scheduler and see what's going on, have a seat and I'll call you back up when I hear from her".  A short time later she calls me back up to the desk and says "the scheduler is saying you need to go down stairs and get labs, then back up here to see Katie PA." I go get labs and return to the office.  I bring it to her attention that I was seen in the hospital Saturday by Katie PA and she told me I needed to follow up with Dr. Schulmbrecht since he knew my history and would have more options for me other than just getting the Nephrostomy Tubes.  Minutes later she says "she just has to add you to the schedule and then I can check you in and they can call you back.  However Dr. Schulmbrecht isn't here today so you'll see his PA Katie".   I told her to cancel the appointment then since I saw Katie PA in the hospital and she told me to follow up with Dr. Schlumbrecht since he knew my history and might have more options for me. So she says have a seat and she would see what she could do. Finally I am getting really annoyed and say its time to go. So I tell the check in girl "we are leaving and to call me when she can figure things out". She says well the scheduler is telling me not to let you leave. Right then the MA Pam calls my name to take me back to a room.  We go back with her. Between me and you I didn't care for MA Pam much.  She puts us in a consultation room and says Katie PA will be right in.  Before I know it MA Pam comes in and asks me if I have eaten anything so far today (Monday) I respond a small amount of water.  She leaves.  Then comes in again says she is moving me to a procedure room, Dr. Schulmbrecht came in to see me specifically and needs to do an exam.  I asked her if she could please send the doctor in I would like to speak to him first.  She says "he will talk to you in the procedure room."  I tell her I would like to talk to him now since nobody has even told me what is going on I would like answers, he isn't doing an exam on me until I speak to him."  Pretty soon Joelle another PA comes in...who the F is she???, I am sure I asked to see the DOCTOR!  She comes in and introduces herself. 

Now I don't know if you know this about me or not, but I am BIG on PERSONAL SPACE...I HATE when someone is IN my PERSONAL SPACE.  So when she shakes my hand she just holds onto it.  I am talking for like 5+ minutes, at this point I am PULLING my hand out of hers.  She just keeps holding it and talking.  To make this situation even WORSE I am sitting on a couch, which one end is in a corner of the room and that happens to be where I am sitting.  With my back to the wall I am facing the door.  She is STILL holding my hand and now sits down on the couch, if she was sitting ANY closer to me she would be SITTING on my lap.  I immediately don't like her.  I finally get my hand free.  I don't like her one bit.  As soon as I open my mouth she shuts me down.  OK...REALLY don't like her.  She says "can you come with me into the procedure room so the doctor can do an exam"  I said like I told Pam, What does he need to do an exam for?"  She FINALLY lets me talk and FINALLY tells me he isn't doing a physical just a heart and lungs check.  OK, was that so hard to tell the patient?  I don't think so. 

While we were in the consultation room she tells me Dr. Schulmbrecht wants to admit me to Gateway to have the Nephrostomy Tube Placement done.  After she leaves the room I am immediately upset and just lost it.

Tears come to my eyes. I don't want this procedure.  I am upset and freaking out.

We move into the procedure room to meet with Dr. Schulmbrecht.  He comes in and right away notices I am upset and asks if I am OK and why am I upset.  I tell him I don't want the neph tubes.

He is a great doctor.  I couldn't have asked for a better doctor. He starts talking to me and telling me about this procedure and why he suggests I have it done.  He also says "any medical decision is up to me, you are the one that gets to make the decisions, I am just here to give you guidance"  Once we we're done talking and he answered all my questions and calmed me down a bit we all decided the best bet was to be admitted to Gateway and have the neph tubes placed.  They were working on a room and would call me as soon as it was ready.  Ashley ran to Colleen's to drop off the kids, dropped me off at home on her way so I could pack my stuff and get my girls situated.

We were admitted about 1130-12 Monday June 3rd.  My procedure was scheduled for 330pm.  Keep in mind I hadn't been feeling well and was in a lot of pain so the last meal I had was Saturday around 11am.  I had a few juiced drinks on Sunday but no solid food. I get to Gateway and get checked into my room.  Clearly still upset and crying from time to time.  The CNA was trying to get my vitals and had to come back a few different times since I was so upset my blood pressure was off the charts!  I am so thankful Ashley was able to be there with me.  I also want to thank Martha (my brother in-law's mother) for calling me and talking with me.  I really enjoyed our conversation.  It's just what I needed to hear before having this procedure done. Thanks again Martha! I love you!
FINALLY transportation came to pick me up and take me down to the OR.  I didn't end up getting the procedure until about 430-5!  Thank goodness they put me out for the procedure.  When I woke up I was SOOO thirsty! I held onto my water glass and wasn't giving it up for anything.  I even fell asleep with my tight grip on my cup. Ha ha....I was inpatient for 3 days and had chemo on day 3.  After being discharged I was sent home.  Under the impression I would feel crummy for a few days A few days went by, a few more and a few more...STILL feeling like crap!
Mom and Dad were down here for the week, they came down as soon as they got word I was being admitted.  The following Wednesday I had follow-ups with my blood doctor, we will call him Dr. K for short.  Plus labs and a seeing Dr. Schulmbrecht. 
I had labs first.  Platelets were 157 (about) even AFTER chemo!!!!  My WBC was low, but that was to be expected since I had chemo.  Dr. K said I wouldn't need to follow up with him anymore unless something happened.  Let's pray that holds true and I never have to see him again!
I then met with Dr. Schulmbrecht, he was so excited to see my platelets so high.  We talked about my neph tube and I told him how much I hated them.  He said due to the color of the fluid (still a red color) he wanted me to keep them in for at least 2 more weeks.  UGH!  Whatever.  At this point I am not happy but I will do whatever needs to be done to save my kidneys. 
I went to Show Low this past week (06.12.13-06.17.13) Peanut had her annual dance recital, I wasn't going to miss this for the world.  She danced FRIDAY AND SATURDAY...and I am SOO PROUD OF HER...she is an amazing little soul.
WELL, at this point I'm fully aware my body likes to do what it wants with no regard for me. So I felt OK on Friday, really tired and slight discomfort. I had lunch with Katrina and Peanut.  After lunch was over I asked Katrina to take me back to her house, I just needed some pain pills and a nap. 
I got all cozy in her recliner and planned on sleeping for a few hours and then go to the recital. 
 I took something for pain at 1pm.  I never really fell asleep just kind of faded in and out.  I went to get up to use the rest room and had THE WORST kidney pain I have ever experienced in my life on the left side.  On a pain scale this pain was about a 12! To top it off I was STUCK in the recliner and couldn't get out!! Every time I would move it would recline that much more.  Literally after 10 minutes I finally got out of that damn chair.  I couldn't hardly breathe or walk.  I made it to the bathroom.  At this point it is about 430pm.  So I am in the clear to take more pain pills. I do.
I get in bed and no sooner do I lay down is that SHARP pain back on the left side! I couldn't even move.  I took two pain pills that didn't even touch the pain. After being stuck in that position and not being able to breathe I called mom to come over.  Not sure I WANT to go to the ER in SHOW LOW no less, but I thought I would get her take on it.  We both decided against the ER.  I finally got a hold of Dr. Schulmbrecht and he called in a new script of pain pills, dad gave me some muscle relaxers (which help SO MUCH) I was in bed feeling like crap for 2 full days.  Saturday I was able to get up and make it to the second portion of Peanuts dance recital.  I still slept half this day away. 
Upon coming home Dr. Schulmbrecht wanted me to be seen in IR and have the doctor that placed my neph tubes check them to make sure they are OK.  Since I am having to be on pain meds every 4 hours or else I am in so much pain I can't even see straight.
That lovely appointment was today. (06.20.13), I was scheduled at 1030am to check in, procedure at 1230pm.  The RN that called me last night told me to hold off on all meds until after the procedure.  UH, even pain meds?  I asked she said even pain meds.  I knew from the get go today was going to be tuff. 
My last dose of pain meds was at 130am...it was about 11am when I couldn't take it any longer and asked for something for pain.  She came in with 1mm, OK I know that's not going to last long, but I had high hopes I would be called back for the procedure BEFORE the meds wore off. 
NO. SUCH. LUCK.
About 2pm they finally came to get me, at this point I was so uncomfortable I couldn't sit still, walking didn't help, sitting or laying didn't help.  It was terrible.
I get into the OR and my nurse says I have something for the pain for you...Oh thank goodness!
At this point I am sitting Indian style with my arms wrapped around a pillow, fists clinched tears rolling down my face.  She says "there you should start feeling some relief soon" I still feel nothing but pain...this process goes on for at least 15 minutes.  When I hear Dr. Price walk in.  He is asking me questions about my pain level and I can see him nod to the RN to give me more.
He proceeds with the procedure.  Flushing contrast through my kidneys and taking pictures via ultrasound.  As SOON as he starts I scream out in pain...It HURTS so bad, It felt like my whole left side was on fire and being ripped off at the same time.  I just kept screaming...The RN pushes more meds...still I have the pain...now moving on to the right side I hear him say.  Crying and so tense I can't handle him to do the right side, I can't!!  Sure enough the pain is there and I can't even breathe, screaming OUCH!!!!  He says OK Tanya we are all done.
THANK.YOU.GOD!!!
Basically what we found out today is that my kidneys are VERY sensitive.  Ya Think??
All the tubes are perfectly fine, in good condition and nothing seems to show as abnormal on my US.
The source for the pain is the tubes.  GREAT!  Once my body heals the pain should start to subside.  Until then pain medication  and taking it easy. GREAT.

To top of the day, I have been having a really tender scalp...For my SCCC/LCCC sisters out there reading you know what this means...for the rest of you that don't it means my hair is starting to fall out.  I will have to shave my head again here soon.  I can't stand it being on my pillow, or just my hair blowing in the wind is painful.  It only took ONE round, ONE round of this new chemo to make my hair start falling out.  I think this is HORSESHIT! I hate that I have to go through all this again, I hate that I am in pain and that my cancer is back and in a few different areas of my body. 
I am NOT giving up, I will continue to fight!

I want to say sorry for not updating you all sooner, I know it has been a few weeks and you all were starting to send text messages and leave me voicemail, so I figured now is as good as time as any to put it all into words.  I have had a rough few weeks.  I eve  started this post about 2 weeks ago and typed a few paragraphs and quit, then a few more and quit. 

So here is the final draft!
 

THE HITS KEEP COMING...

The hits keep coming...one right after the next.

I had a nice weekend planned for Scott for his birthday. His birthday is on Tuesday, but I wanted to do something special for him.   Ashley has a Hilton hook up and got us a room at the Hilton Tapiao Cliffs Resort.  I told him we were going on a Stay-cation and we weren't to talk about cancer the whole week...it would be cancer free.  Let's face it, we both REALLY needed it.

Friday morning I woke up about 4am, with right kidney pain.

It went away about 1pm and I went on with my day...no big deal. 

I was thinking I just hadn't drank enough water. We checked into the hotel about 9pm Friday night and just really enjoyed each other. We had dinner AND dessert (deep dish apple pie) DELICIOUS!!!

Scott is wonderful.  I really got lucky the night I met him. 

:)

So I had called family and friends and told them we had a cabana rented from 10am-6pm Saturday and to come hang out and enjoy the resort with us.  It couldn't have worked out better!

We got to the pool and mostly everyone was there already. When we checked in the guy said "it looks like someone already checked in for your cabana already" I quickly walked off...Scott being Scott says to me "what someone is in our cabana, did you pay for it?" I said I did and that we needed to find out who was in our cabana.  Prior to this he mentioned calling Ashley and having her bring the kids to the hotel to hang out, I made up some lie about Ashley being at Jesse and Amanda's pool hanging with them all day.  He seemed a little bummed.  So you can imagine his surprise when we walked up to the cabana and ASHLEY, BRECKIN, ELLA, KATRINA, BRINLEY, BANNON, AND TAMMY were all waiting for us! :) He said "Oh they all came?" ha ha I said more are on the way too! He was even more surprised! It couldn't have worked out better!

When I woke Saturday it was about 4am and I was having the same right side kidney pain...this time much worse than the day prior.  I got up and drank a bunch of water and tried to "sleep it off"

I took a hot bath and was just going to TUFF it out.  I was not going to let this stop me from enjoying the day or the weekend.

We played all day in the sun and I stayed as hydrated as possible.  Drinking LOTS of water. With the tumors in my pelvis I have some bleeding. Since the tumors take up 1/3 of my vagina I am also not able to use tampons, so it makes enjoying the pool a little difficult.  Just ONE more thing cancer has taken from me.  The ability to GET IN THE WATER! Which sucks so bad, I LOVE the pool for one and two it's freaking 108 degrees outside, who doesn't want to be in the pool???

Well it was about 3pm and I had about all I could handle.  I told Scott I just needed to get back to the room and lay down.  He was insisting I go to the ER. 

You all know me, I didn't want to go.  Why would I, when every time I have gone to the ER it ends in at least a weeks stay.  I HATE THE ER!

I took a hot bath, it seemed to help before.  An hour later I was getting out of the tub and packing my things.  We decided I needed the ER after all. 

I kept thinking "the right adrenal has a tumor on it" which is the side am having all the pain.

After getting checked in, they checked urine, blood and did a CT Scan. 

The urine was clear.  The blood was normal, however my platelets were 118, they were 150 on Thursday. So they went down. As for the CT Scan, it showed my ureters were being compressed by the tumors in my pelvis.  The ureters are the little tubes that carry your urine from your kidneys to bladder, then the bladder releases it.  Since mine are being compressed I am not able to empty my bladder all the way, which means the urine is being backed up from my bladder to my kidneys. Which is why I am having a lot of pelvic pain. 

ALSO...the CT showed fluid in my right kidney.  Which confirms the blockage in my ureters.

which is the source of the pain in my lower back.

So the ER physician called my gyn/onc. His PA Katie came in to see me.  This is after they decided to admit me...see I told you, every ER visit turns into me being admitted.

WHATEVER...

They finally get me into a room, and all hooked up to the machines, ran over my history when Katie came in to see me. At this point it's about 11:30pm I have already been given morphine and toradol for the pain and I am exhausted.  NOT the right time to have a serious conversation.  You know how hard it is to focus or keep your eyes OPEN?!?! 

Scott is there so he of course has like 1000 questions.  I love this guy, but 11:30pm after a morphine cocktail not in the mood for 1000 questions game.

Katie tells me the reason they wanted to admit me was so that I could have a procedure done Sunday.  (today) This procedure is called Nephrostomy Tube Placement.  What this procedure is, they place little drain tubes from your kidneys that come out your back and drain into a bag.  These can be temporary and can be removed after the tumors have shrank, and the ureters are working like they should.  HOWEVER, who wants this?  Not me.  I think having this procedure done would greatly decrease my quality of life.  Not that I go out a lot, but who wants to carry a pee bag with them to dinner?

They couldn't get the procedure scheduled (thank goodness) since the IR doc was booked.  So instead they released me and sent me home with pain medication.  I will follow up with my gyn/onc at 8am on Monday and I hope he has a better plan than Neph tube placement. Scott and I are in agreement that there has to be something else they can do. 

However, if my kidney function is compromised I can't get chemo or radiation to shrink the tumors to relieve the ureters.  So we will see what Dr. Schulmbrecht has to say tomorrow. If something isn't done, the blockage can damage my kidney. 

 

Like I need that on top of everything else.

So for now it's pain meds, and water!

 

Tanya